100 Ways to Annoy the Nordics

100 Ways to Annoy the Nordics

Denmark
1. Ask why he's not as cool as Sweden.
2. Ask why he speaks with a potato in his mouth.
3. Ask him how the Kalmar Union is.
4. Ask him how many Lego pieces it costs to buy a tub of Häagen-Dazs.
5. Point out that the Swedish flag looks just like the Danish flag.
6. Point out that the Icelandic, Norwegian and Finnish flags do too.
7. Drink his beer.
8. Ask him why his country is so small.
9. Ask how many times Sweden has kicked his butt.
10. Tell him that Norway does not love him.
11. Tell him Norway loves Sweden.
12. While talking about politics, ask who the head of bar tending is in Denmark.
13. Tell him Sweden is more handsome than he is.
14. Ask why the Danish language is not as cool as Swedish.
15. Say that no matter how hard he will try, Denmark will never be better than Sweden.
16. Tell him that the capital of Denmark is Legoland.
17. Tell him he is not good looking.
18. Speak only Swedish when Denmark is around.
19. Say that Sweden is the best country in the world.
20. Always find a way to bring the topic back to Sweden.

Sweden
1. Tell him you know Swedish. Then go on to say "bork, bork, bork".
2. When he says it's not Swedish, say "Swedish, Danish, what's the difference?"
3. Point out what Sweden and Finland would look like on a map if Norway was not there.
4. Tell him that Swiss chocolate is good.
5. When he asks what you mean, tell him that Swiss Chocolate comes from Sweden.
6. Say that the people in Sweden are Swiss.
7. Ask if he can speak Moose-ish.
8. Go into his workshop.
9. Complain about getting 3 inches (8 cm) of snow in one week.
10. Say that he and Denmark would make a cute couple.
11. Act like you have no idea what he is talking about.
12. Fake a Swedish accent. (If Swedish, fake a Danish accent)
13. Tell him you love Finland more than he does.
14. Say that Finland is your wife.
15. Wear his glasses.
16. Pretend to be Sweden.
17. Talk about Denmark.
18. Tell Sweden that you know he secretly loves Denmark.
19. Call him your teddy bear.
20. Scream "caramelldansen" every time you see him.

Norway
1. Ask if Denmark still owns him.
2. Ask if he can see the magic squirrels.
3. Tell him that Denmark loves him.
4. Support DenNor.
5. Ask if Hell is frozen over.
6. Give him hugs.
7. Tell him you see no difference between Norwegian and Danish.
8. Pretend to be a chicken.
9. Scream for no reason.
10. Tell him trolls and fairies are not real.
11. Ask why he never talks.
12. Tell him you will be his second Denmark.
13. Touch his curl.
14. Do not finish anythi
15. Say that Norway is the capital of Sweden.
16. Ask if he sings opera.
17. When he asks why, tell him that Viking women do, so he should too.
18. Do anything on Denmark's list to get Denmark wound up.
19. Laugh whenever he says/uses the number '69'.
20. Call him at 3 in the morning just to make sure he's okay.

Finland
1. Ask him his gender.
2. Even when he says 'male' continue to say he is female.
3. Call him your wife.
4. Hit him with a fish.
5. When he asks why you hit him with a fish, tell him it is the traditional way of finding a partner in Finland.
6. Support SuFin.
7. Ask why he doesn't love Sweden.
8. Ask how long he has been married to Sweden.
9. Poke his face while singing "Poker face" by Lady GaGa.
10. Tell him saunas are for wimps.
11. Stare at him for no reason.
12. Tell him Santa is not real.
13. Drink all his vodka.
14. Replace his vodka with water.
15. When he asks what happened to his vodka, blame it on the cat.
16. Point out that he is short.
17. Ask him why Finnish isn't like Swedish, Norwegian or Danish.
18. Tell him you find it cute that one of his languages is Swedish.
19. Talk about Russia.
20. Tell him he is not good at coming up with names.

Iceland
1. Ask why his name is "Iceland".
2. Ask him why his name is not "Greenland".
3. Come to the conclusion that if Iceland really is green, then it must be summer year round.
4. Ask him where Lazy Town is located in Iceland.
5. Ask him to speak Icelandic.
6. Point out that he is Norway's little brother.
7. Ask if he owns a swan dress like Bjӧrk's.
8. Tell him you like his accent.
9. Call him 'adorable'.
10. Tell him he's cute when embarrassed.
11. Say that liquorice is gross.
12. When he asks if you are finished say "No, I'm Swedish-d!"
13. Sing "Ice Ice Baby" every time he walks into the room.
14. Tell him his food is odd.
15. Ask him for a kiss every time you see him.
16. Always make sure you are physically touching him.
17. Fallow him everywhere (even into the bathroom.)
18. When he asks what you are doing, say "just some observation."
19. Ask if it's cold in Iceland.
20. Ask where babies come from.

Bonus~

Mr. Puffin
1. Tell him he's not cute.
2. Tell him that bow ties were so last year.
3. Tell him that penguins are better than puffins.
4. Tell him that Prussia is more awesome than him.
5. Tell him he talks funny.

Sealand
1. Say he has eyebrows like England.
2. Point out that England is his brother.
3. Don't acknowledge him as a country.
4. Call him 'pipsqueak'
5. Remind him that he is not a country